amy/eleven appreciation day; an episode that sealed the deal
unto my hearts: 5x07
while watching season 5 up to this point (amy’s choice), I had always been under the impression that amy romantically liked the doctor more than he liked her (although both sharing this attraction to one another). this was mostly founded on the kiss at the end of 5x05, and amy using eleven as a form of escapism from her fear of growing up (peter pan!). but when amy’s choice rolled around, I realized that it was quite the opposite.
amy had to make a choice between her raggedy man and rory, and it revealed a lot about both relationships, while also giving us a inside look at the doctor himself “maybe i’ll keep her!”. in the end, it was the doctor who appeared to be in over his head. whether from fear of losing another companion, that he owed her on behalf of destroying her childhood, or that he couldn’t let her go or get her out of his mind, it was the moment of clarity I saw eleven had fallen too far.
and that’s the moment I lost my soul completely to this goddamn ship
I would like to take a minute to appreciate this post and also the expression “stole my heart.” Let’s be real. At the beginning of our lives we don’t have a reason to want to keep our hearts to ourselves. Loving feels good so why not do it? Guarding their heart is something a person learns to do by watching or living long enough to see it injured. The notion that someone has “stolen” someone else’s heart implies that it occurs after the walls have been built. The heart wasn’t given freely. There were walls to break through and retrieve this heart. It wasn’t a couch left at the end of the driveway anymore. Stealing someone’s heart isn’t always an intentional act. Walls can be broken without conscious calculation. But the act is, nonetheless, violent; a trauma one has to endure to fall in love.
She’s just always been there for me, taken care of me. And now it’s my turn and I don’t know what to do.